Where in the World is Alf? (Part IV)

Following Part III

February 9-20, 2003

Sunday, February 9, 2003

Sunday Bunny

Miami has scheduled a 'South Beach Wine & Food Festival' for February 28 to March 2nd ... and this is their best shot cover-shot corkscrew. It was featured in this morning's NY Times as a local supplement. If the auger augurs the wine ... it's best missed.1

Though the Fort Lauderdale beach was awash with much skin this afternoon I ... for sure ... think that I let my new 8 optical (times 4 digital) Nikon get way out of control. At full strength it's like working with a 920 mm lens on a standard 35. Incidentally, I had to 'out-take' more than a dozen gynecological angles.

"Better than those ancient albums, Alf! Anything is better than them" [-Anon. from Seattle]2

1 This will probably only read well to ICCAers, CCCCers and PCCers. We can be very petty.

2 According to Don Bull, his wife, Bonnie, said; "Alf must be bored ... having to show all those old albums."

Monday, February 10, 2003

This arrived three days after the alert was 'sounded' in Washington. Of course, it WAS the weekend ... and we can't expect government employees to .......

Subj: Increase in National Threat Level
Date: 2/10/2003 1:26:41 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: acsbkk@state.gov
To: bangkok-acs-announcements@databack.com

The following announcement was made by the Department of
Homeland Security (DHS) on February 7:

                     * * * * * * *

National Threat Level Raised to High

Based upon specific information analyzed by the intelligence
community, and after conferring with the Homeland Security
Council, the decision has been made to increase the national
threat level from yellow "elevated risk" to orange "high

Recent intelligence reports, corroborated through multiple
Intelligence sources, suggest an increased likelihood that
The al Qaeda terrorist network may attempt to attack
Americans in the United States and/or abroad in or around
The end of the Hajj, the Muslim religious period ending mid-
February of 2003.

U.S. Embassy Bangkok American Citizen Services Unit:
Window Hours: Monday - Friday, 8 - 11 AM and 1 - 3 PM
Tel: +66-2-205-4049
E-mail: acsbkk@state.gov

Tuesday, February 11, 2002

This is the last of my trips down a '70's ICCA memory trail!


Thank you .... and thanks ....

Anyway, this is the 1979 London ICCA AGM. It starts off at Christie's for a corkscrew viewing and auction ... moves to the Guinness Brewery for a reception, the AGM and a dinner. It then tapers off at The Bottlescrew Pub (or Bottlescrue) and Mother Bunch's for lots of drinking.

All of this took place over several days in the fall of '79.

Wednesday, February (from the Latin word "to smoke") 12, 2003

Office of Homeland Security preparations ... and planting guides (from the Farmer's Almanac).

"Time for that little holiday, Alf? Go ahead, you need it."

PS: From the content and tone of this US embassy warning you can see that Thailand is a very nice place to live ... I feel safer there than on I-95.

Subj: Demonstrations on Feb. 14 & 15  
Date: 2/12/2003 11:50:31 PM Eastern Standard Time 
From: acsbkk@state.gov 
To: bangkok-acs-announcements@databack.com 


The Embassy has been informed by the police and others to expect
demonstrations on Friday and Saturday of this week.  

We are told that the first demonstration will take place in front
of the main U.S. Embassy building on Wireless Road in Bangkok on
Friday, February 14, at about 10 AM, and last about one hour.
Approximately 100 people are expected to participate in this
demonstration, the theme of which is world peace.  

A second demonstration, against the U.S. position on Iraq, is
planned for Saturday, February 15, at approximately 10 AM.
Police expect up to 300 people to participate in this
demonstration, which will also take place in front of the
Embassy's main building.

While police expect both demonstrations to be peaceful, American
citizens are asked to AVOID THE AREA while the demonstrations are
in progress.  Anyone coming to transact business at the Embassy
should be aware that Embassy entrances could be closed on short

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

U.S. Embassy Bangkok American Citizen Services Unit:
Window Hours: Monday - Friday, 8 - 11 AM and 1 - 3 PM
Tel: +66-2-205-4049
E-mail: acsbkk@state.gov

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Where are they?

Friday, January 14, 2003

Earlier I flooded you with pictures of our '70's corkscrew 'adventures'.

Today the BACKROOM (sort of a new home for lost LAWSIGers) had a message from Ms M.B. of Maryland (an insignificant state near America's DC ... known for Spiro Agnew and Sniper & Son). She 'recalled' ... (God only knows how she keeps these things) ... an ancient message from someone who few of us have ever actually met face-to-face: Brian Cherbo ... or, just "Cherbo." Yes, I remember actually reading this when he wrote it ... yep, a decade ago. It was discussed and dissected and some of us even tried it.

269412 S14/"BAR ROOM"  [LAWSIG] 
    20-Jul-92  07:18:22 
Sb: #How To... 
Fm: Brian Cherbo 71730,270 
To: ALL 

     How to Obtain the Maximum Amount of Pleasure From Eating Crackers 

     First, go to the store and purchase: One box of your favorite crackers, 
35 heads of lettuce, 25 bottles each of French, Itallion and Thousand Island 
dressings. Get three buckets and rent a Tux. 
     Rent a hotel room in the fanciest hotel in town. Also, rent a room in the 
most sleazy motel you can find. 
     In the sleazy motel room, fill the each bucket with one of the dressings 
and put them in the closet. Chop up the lettuce, pull back the sheets on the 
bed and put the lettuce there. Cover the lettuce with the sheets. Leave the 
Tux in the kitchen. 
     Find an attractive and adventerous woman. Take her to the sleazy motel, 
and ask her if she wants to try something kinky. Undress her, and pull back 
the sheets, exposing the lettuce, and ask her to lie down. (Be reassuring!). 
Run into the kitchen, change into the tux, and drape a towel over your arm. 
When you go back to the bedroom, ask her what kind of dressing she'd like. 
(French, Itallian, etc.). Get the bucket of that kind from the closet, and 
SLOWLY pour it all over her body, lying on the lettuce. Slap your forhead and 
exclaim, "Oh no! I forgot the croutons! Don't move, I'll be right back!" 
     Drive accross town to the really nice hotel, go to the room you rented, 
turn out all the lights and unplug the phone. Take off your clothes, get into 
bed, and eat the crackers. 

Saturday, February 15, 2003

I've corresponded with Colin Graham for five or six years ... way before he got his first balloon ... back then he was very interested in the Corkscrew Balloons ... and at one time I even promised him a trip when he reached 18 (which I reneged on when found out he did not have a beautiful sister to accompany him). Now, according to The Roanoke Times (Feb. 11, 2003), Colin has his own balloon company.

Don Bull ... of the ICCA and the host of this year's ICCA AGM (which will be held in the Roanoke area) ... sent me the 'attached' clipping. Does this mean that Colin will be doing touch-downs on Don's lake? Don has been close to Colin and his family for several years ... (dined, flown, fished, prayed, and read poetry together) ... so I would not be surprised to see the Forever Endeavor at the Bull House this fall.

This month's Travel & Leisure gave Bangkok's The Peninsula a #1, and The Oriental a #6 for value for money. Is this an example of 'damnation by faint praise'?

PS: Editor Paul Fjelstad ... (had his local shop run dry?) ... found this roll of Duct Tape on e-Bay. Being within easy striking range from North Korea the Seattle area is especially vulnerable to attack (but, Paul, isn't it Iraq that has the gas and germs? I think you need Reynolds Wrap!).

The best roll of duct tape ever, Seal windows
Item # 2307980885

Home & Garden:Tools:Safety, Protective Gear

Current bid US $500.00 Starting bid US $500.00
Quantity 1 # of bids 0 Bid history
Time left 4 days, 16 hours +
Location Pismo Beach
Country United States
Started Feb-13-03 10:11:28 PST Mail this auction to a friend
Ends Feb-20-03 10:11:28 PST Watch this item
Seller (rating) pismobears(56)
View seller's feedback | view seller's other items | ask seller a question
High bidder --
PayPal, money order/cashiers check, other online payment services, or see item description for payment methods accepted.
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Shipping Buyer pays for all shipping costs, which are provided in the Payment Details section below. Will ship to United States only.
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This is a half used roll of silver mirical tape. it was left out in the rain for a day and the card board roll is a bit warped and distorted. my daughter tied a string to it and ran around the yard with it so the dog would chase it. So it has been chewed a little bit by my puppy.

Sunday, February 16, 2003

Today THOCBDC has been in operation for 2,483 days (6.793 years).

To celebrate this round number Watcharee and I took Susan to Max's ... up at Beach Place. Here are three faces of Susan ... three of her faces from tonight.

"Susan? The one we've seen before?"

Yes ... but not necessarily in this order ... the Susan of London, the Susan of Chateau d'Oex, the Susan of Bangkok (twice), the Susan of Tiger Tops ... and, maybe the Susan of somewhere else, too.

PS: Yesterday Editor Paul Fjelstad discovered a roll of duct tape that was available on e-Bay. Today's 'search' of the e-Bay data base produced this curious message:

Invalid Item

The item you requested ( 2307980885 ) is invalid, still pending, or no longer in our database. Please check the number and try again. If this message persists, the item has either not started and is not yet available for viewing, or has expired and is no longer available.

Monday, February 17, 2003

Dearest reader ... today is a combination brought together by our nation's observance of President's Day.

The 'clock' thing is a contribution from Andy Page.

The 'chick' thing is a contribution from AOL/Time/Life/Warner/SportsIllustrated.

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

THOCBDC asks if the "good-Senator-from-(where's he from?)" knows that even while he spoke these wimpy words to his fellow 'droolers' on the Senate Floor that ... yes ... the arch fiend, Saddam, was feeding Christians to the lions? Proof? You want proof? We'll give you proof!

PS: Oh, screw the senator from that little state of inbreeders ... and to hell with Saddam and his 'groveler'-eating lions ... none of that is really important. What matters is: WHERE IS THIS GIRL? Last seen just three years ago today ... and now she is gone ... lost! We've hunted high and low all over Taipei for her and no one .... yes, absolutely no one ... claims to have seen her. Have you? We've even asked everyone who reads the stuff from THOCBDC to keep their eyes open ... but, have we had any luck? NO!

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Comedy Central announced that this will be the first time that an albino has run for president of the United States. [THOCBDC ... quite a while ago ... did a piece on the difficulties that faced one well-schooled albino-American when he tried to make a living as a Park Avenue gynecologist. Admittedly, that particular case involved an albino gynecologist who was doubly handicapped by being a dwarf. Rep. Gephardt is a tall man.]

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (CNN) -- Rep. Dick Gephardt, a 26-year veteran of Congress who failed to return Democrats to power in the House, announced his candidacy for president Wednesday with a broad attack on Bush administration policies he said "left us isolated in the world, and stranded here at home."

PS: Look, let's not let this silly nonsense from stupid American TV programs detract from the search for this girl. Whether the Dick is an albino or not shouldn't wash one way or the other with the people we care about ... we want our readers to keep their eyes open when picking up 'Chinese-take-outs,' buying lottery tickets from night shift Seven 11 girls or ... hell ... even if they are just getting acupuncture. This girl is camera-shy ... so be aware of averted eyes and quickly turned heads. There's big bucks in this!!!!

Thursday, February 20, 2003

This afternoon and evening Watcharee and I walked around the neighborhood ... something we've been doing on and off for the past month or so.

These are two of our 'neighbors' ... these houses are no more than several hundred feet from each other. And a month ago each place looked pretty much just like it did today ... so, we don't really have a yard sale in progress.

"What are you saying, Alf?"

PS: How my 'neighbors' decorate their homes is really of no concern to anyone except themselves. We must not lose sight of this ... ever; a man's house is his castle!

"So, Alf what was the point of it? I mean you led off with it."


Concentrate, dear THOCBDC reader, on finding this girl. No, no, no ... I am not posting two prints of the same 'shot' ... look carefully; you see, this girl can change her appearance ever so subtly. Look at her smile ... look at her chin! Don't be fooled.

PPS: Yes, the pig is dead!

Next: Part V

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