October 25-31, 2008
If I could come back after this life I would want to be a political cartoonist.
With our move to The Athenee Residence just weeks away the penthouse at River Garden has just been renovated and listed for rent. Here are some photos of the views from its 17th floor; tomorrow I'll post pictures of the interior.
More people are worried about the economy than are fretting about my new Bangkok carpentry ... so, instead of parading more photographs of the built-ins at our new condo THOCBDC has chopped up the Drawing Room page in the latest issue of Time magazine for your amusement.
Though I shall always keep my I.C.C.A. membership I am flirting with starting an I.C.S.A club. Anyone want to join?
View of and from the bedroom.
PS: OMG! Can this be?
Tell me, Pastor (Reverend, Holy Father), what is it like in heaven?
It is a place of infinite happiness ... a billion times better than anything you have ever experienced here on Earth.
Wow! Will it be like a perpetual sexual orgasm?
No, the Lord frowns on that sort of thing. He will give you perpetual virginity and you will not want sex. Remember, you will be reunited with your mother and father in heaven and that would make a bad mix if sex was introduced.
My favorite meal is broiled lobster and a Caesar salad accompanied by a bottle of Mersault. Will I be able to eat and drink whatever I want and when I want?
You will have no need for food or drink in heaven, as you will never be hungry or thirsty. You will only want those little crackers that you get at Mass. OK, you might gag at thinking of swallowing bits of Jesus so early in the day; according to the Holy Mother Church these little crackers have been turned into the meat and blood of Christ ... not just the juicy bits of Him….what you are forking down are not just bits of His heart and lips….also, going down your gullet are pieces of His ass hole and toe nails.
Let's change the subject.
Does that mean that the next day I won't even have the pleasure of reading the New York Times while sitting on the toilet without having diarrhea from all that Jesus pork?
True, you will have no need to defecate or urinate while in heaven. Heaven doesn't have such things as toilets and its nasty plumbing fixtures. And, you will have no need to read anything as there is nothing to read in heaven.
What about music? I love classic rock will I be able to listen to anything I want when I want. I love Janis Joplin.
You will not need music in heaven, as you will have the Lord's words to listen to. And you will be surrounded with the talking heads of your predeceased family members with whom you have been just reunited and this chat will last for all eternity.
What about fine art? I love going to Louvre.
There is no need for art in heaven, as you will have the Lord to look at. And, the Pope ... you can always look at him in his best dress.
What about clothes? I really like fashion.
You will be naked in heaven ... except for the Pope.
Can I go to hell?
Of these 23 boxes and one toy elephant, my friend, Paul, will recognize just one item.
PS: What would I do without my minders?
October 29, 2008
This warden message is being issued to alert U.S. Citizens traveling to and residing in Thailand that media reports indicate the People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD) will hold a rally tomorrow, Thursday, October 30, 2008 at Siam Paragon shopping center beginning at 10:00 a.m. It is expected that the rally will move down Sukhumvit Road to the British Embassy where the demonstrators will congregate. At this time, it is not clear if the demonstrators plan to proceed onto Wireless Road. The demonstration is expected to last until 2:00 p.m. We ask Americans to exercise caution if you are going to be in this vicinity or in the area of any demonstrations.
We wish to remind American citizens that even demonstrations intended to be peaceful can turn confrontational and possibly escalate into violence. American citizens are therefore urged to avoid the areas of demonstrations if possible, and to exercise caution if within the vicinity of any demonstrations.
For the latest security information, Americans living and traveling abroad should regularly monitor the Department's Bureau of Consular Affairs Internet web site at http://travel.state.gov, where the current Worldwide Caution, Travel Alerts, Travel Warnings, and health-information resources can be found. Up-to-date information on security can also be obtained by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll free in the U.S. and Canada or, for callers in other areas by calling a regular toll line at 1-202-501-4444. These numbers are available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday (except U.S. federal holidays).
American citizens traveling or residing in Thailand are encouraged to register with the Department of State or the U.S. Embassy. The Embassy is located at 95 Wireless Road in Bangkok. The American Citizen Services Unit of the U.S. Embassy can be reached by calling 66-2-205-4049 and by e-mail at ACSBKK@State.gov. The after hours emergency telephone number is 66-2-205-4000.
Richard Dawkins embarrassed after death and subsequent resurrection
Confirmed atheist Richard Dawkins was forced onto the defensive yesterday after he died but subsequently rose from the dead in a miraculous resurrection, much like that of the son of God Jesus Christ.
'There are a number of perfectly logical scientific explanations for what has happened' he told journalists flocking to hear his story or just touch the hem of his clothing. 'Although I was pronounced dead after the unfortunate incident on Friday, the doctors clearly made a mistake. The fact that there was thunder and lightning, and those around claim to have heard the sound of angelic voices is completely irrelevant.'
Dawkins suffered a shocking but ironic death on Friday having been seized by a mysterious gang of burly men dressed as Roman soldiers. They nailed him to a cross, and left him there until he died some hours later. However on Sunday, his body was no longer to be found in Slough mortuary, and he was seen walking on the A4 towards his home, where his resurrection was hailed as a miracle.
It is being suggested in some quarters that Richard Dawkins was being taught a lesson by God, who has now given him magical powers including the ability to walk on water and cast out demons. A bitter Pope Benedict said 'Why is it the naughty ones get all the attention? I have been saying that I definitely, definitely believe in God for ages and I haven't been given the ability to perform a single miracle. Unless you count progressing from the Hitler Youth to being God's representative on Earth, I suppose.'
Despite the miraculous events of the past few days, Richard Dawkins was standing by his militant atheism. 'All of it can be explained by science and rational thought' he insisted to reporters outside his front door. At this point a leper rushed through the crowd, and kissed Dawkins' feet, only to stand up apparently totally cured of her hideous affliction. 'OK, that is pretty impressive, I admit' said the author of The God Delusion. 'Oh shit, I think I'm going to get pissed.' At that he touched a bottle of mineral water, turning it into Chateau Lafitte 1967, and slunk inside to drink it.
Our first furniture delivery.
PS: Yes, today is Halloween all over the world.
The Bangkok Post took a poll of American Expats living in Thailand. It is not surprising to me that an overwhelming majority of them voted for Obama. The Post reported the results of the poll in this morning's edition, along with some reader emails that accompanied their votes. Now, I feel sort of bad that I did not do a write-in for Halle Berry.
Meanwhile, over at The Athenee Residence a new vehicle entrance will open tomorrow, November 1st. This will be the main vehicle entrance for the building. Up to now we have been using entrance #3 which involves a bit of a loop before reaching the garage. This new entrance (#2) will allow drivers to go directly to the occupant parking area without first passing through the employee parking lot. (What snobs we look like!) [*].
[*] Hey, but just to prove that we are Joe Six Packs and Joe Plumbers [**] at heart, this was last night's dinner: an all Mac meal.
[**] Can chicks be plumbers and six-packs in Thailand? I think not. Whatever.